RE-RIP

Creo necesario aclarar que este post lo tome de mi otro blog, asi que me auto-robe...

"This is not my "usual" post, but I felt and still feel like getting this out of my chest.

People say that tragedy brings out the best of us, and also the worst. Today I proved the latter. Today an aunt, whom I wasn't attached to, even less that the rest of my family, past away. When I was told this, I didn't quite feel bad, or any other emotion. I know this is fucked up, and I know I could try to justify my lack of feelings, by saying "they've never liked me", and it's true... and I feel bad, becuase I don't feel nothing at all, buecause someone died, and whether I like it or not, we were blood related. I also realized today that the oldsay "blood's thicker than water" is bullshit, but I realized it's true that you choose your family. I'm saying this, not only because of my fucked up attitude, but also, because I felt so out of place while being at the hospital's chapel at the services today. I felt not only like not belonging, but also like an outsider, like an outcast. I realized, I'm not part of that family, and the only bond (if you can call it that way), is that we share a lastname. I think this is for the best, we have nothing in common, and like I mentioned before, it's for the best.
The worst part is that I feel actually relieved of being apart of all of them. I feel fine by not belonging, I feel at peace.
Like I said... this is fucked up, but I feel more than fine."

RIP TOÑA.

Peace.